Hey, look, it’s a new song from Heartland. Yeah, you know, Heartland. That group that got that one wedding song to #1? No, you’re thinking of Big & Rich. Heartland did “I Loved Her First.” Where are they now, you ask? Probably working at Hardee’s, for all I know.
Seriously, Heartland is back again, still trying to make up for being one of the biggest one-hit wonders in the history of country music. Their new single, “Mustache,” is a delightfully silly little song courtesy of Chris DuBois, Jimmy Melton and Neal Coty. At first, it sounds like an ordinary song about some guy who just happens to hate the man that his former girlfriend is with. Then, you get to the hook “He’s got a mustache.” Specifically, one straight out of 1979 — one of those “porn star” ones. Yes, they really describe it that way. The narrator then goes on to say that Mister Mustache has gold chains, a hairy chest, and probably wears a Speedo to the beach. Between such details and Jason Albert’s incredulous delivery (especially when he says “un-frickin’-believable”), the song is very clever without being cutesy.
In this increasingly bland country music world, it’s refreshing to see a song with a good dose of humor and a little bit of an edge. Given that this is on yet another indie label, it may or may not make a dent in the charts; no matter how it performs, this song shows that there’s more to Heartland than just a smash wedding ballad that practically anyone could have sung. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go shave.