While we’re all awaiting what Josh Turner, modern Country’s most identifiable vocalist, does next with his music, in late April he released his first ever book. Packing a world of wisdom and even more humor into Man Stuff: Thoughts On Faith, Family, and Fatherhood, Josh Turner lets fans into his life through interesting memoir-like stories about his family and his life as a music man and father. We recently sat down to talk with Josh about the book and this is his story.
Matt Bjorke: How did you come up with the idea to write the book?
Josh Turner: Well, Thomas Nelson, my publisher, it was their idea to write the book. They had viewed an article that sparked the idea so they approached me about it. At first it was intimidating but the more I thought about it, it was exciting to me, it appealed to me. So I agreed to it and it was a fun project where I learned a lot.
Matt: It seemed to be more of the type of book that would be a sort of reference or field guide to life, something men could come to, not unlike how the Bible is ordered…
Josh: Well, I intentially wanted to keep it short and sweet. It wasn’t going to be a daily devotional, so to speak, but it was going to be devotional thoughts, where I could open up and tell stories, some of which are short, some of which are longer. It was an opportunity for me to open up and share my experiences and stories where I feel like I learned something.
It’s just my personal opinion but when someone needs to learn a lesson, they don’t need toe it and listen to someone speak for an hour…
Matt: Agreed…
Josh: The shorter and more simple you can make it, it’s the more impactful way to go.
Matt: How did you come up with the title for Man Stuff?
Josh: Well, initially it came from my second son Colby and I were going to my cabin in South Carolina one week and my wife Jennifer goes to Colby and asked him, “Colby, what are you and Daddy going to do at the cabin?” and he replied “We’re going to do Man Stuff!” So it always stuck out in my mind and I remembered it and when they were looking for titles for the book, I ran that by everybody and they loved it. They wanted this book to be geared towards men anyway so I felt like it would fit the book.
Matt: One of the things you talk about early in the book is fear and the basic human condition of it. How important was it for you to discuss fear early in the book?
Josh: It was very important because if somebody is struggling with some sort of fear, and my wife’s one of those people who has often struggled with fear — me not so much — but I did point out some of the things I’m afraid of, that I have fear of, and I think that everyone has a fear of something, even if it’s not a huge struggle.
I think that if anyone has a fear of something, I feel like it’s imperative for them to deal with that in a healthy manor early on because and fear can easily rob us of a quality of life, our sleep, our joy, our relationships. It can keep you from having a good time and liken I talk about in this book, I had this fear of deep water and there I was in the shallow water and I had too much of a fear to get in the water and snorkel. But when I faced that fear, I was able to embruce everything thing and that fear. When I finally actually snorkeled, I had the gear on, my face was down in the water. I had a choice to focus on the tropical fish, the green sea turtle and the coral and the reef or I could focus on the black abyss in my peripheral vision.
I think that’s a true picture of what it’s like when someone’s facing fear. They’re focusing on the black abyss rather than the beauty that is in front of their face. I felt like having early in the book was important because you can deal with that first and you can then learn and experience a whole lot more.
Matt:You talk about friendship and how important friendship outside of your family is and how hard it it was for you to learn that and later on you talk about how much your friendship with John Anderson has meant to you, did he help you come out of that…
Josh: No, I’d come out of that before I became friends with John, thank goodness. I honestly learned more about friendship from my sister. And I don’t know if I reference her in the book or not but I was always baffled by the way she had all these friends and if somebody did her wrong, screwed her over, if they did anything wrong towards her, she’d just turn around and forgive them and move on with the friendship.
Me, If I had a friend who did that to me, I would always scratch them off of my list and be done with them. And I don’t know where that really came from but I learned over the years that she was doing it the right way. And I asked her why she put up with their crap, she would simply look at me and say “because they’re my friends” and she knew their heart and they may have made a mistake but that they didn’t mean to do it. For me, I couldn’t get passed my friends making a mistake and hurting me. And I was there having a pity party and was on the verge of losing a friendship and sometimes did lose friendships because I wasn’t forgiving enough. It was a valuable lesson to learn and I learned it from my sister.
Matt: So by learning that lesson you are able to have the kind of relationship that you do have with John…
Josh:Exactly, exactly.
Matt: Why do you think it’s so easy for us as humans to forget the simple things like gratitude, thanks, paying attention to details around you and not having tunnel vision…
Josh: Well, we live in such a fast-paced, technological world where you can have whole conversations with people and not see them or even hear their voices. It’s not natural for us. The other part of it is that the young people of today look up to people who are ‘cool’ in the world’s eyes but they don’t have manners, respect of elders, respect for others, for the authorities, don’t go about things in a professional way and they don’t have any self respect. So when a young person is looking up to someone like that, they’re not gonna go about the things you mentioned in the right way…
That’s part of the reason I do what I do, because I feel like I have a platform to say what I say. To respected your elders, to love your wife or husband, all of that is cool. It might be viewed as old-fashioned to some people but it still is the best way to me.
Matt: How important was for you to have humor in your life?
Josh: Life is heavy enough, it’s very serious there’s a lot of weight to it and if you can’t loosen-up and joke about it, laugh about it. It’s gonna get real tough, real fast. My Daddy’s mama, I called her Granny, she was a prime example of just making light of your situation no matter how heavy it was. She had a child with down syndrome and they loved that child to death, that child was my aunt. But it was so crazy I have vivid memories of growing up with my grandmama calling me a mongoloid and today it’s politically incorrect to say things like that. She had breast cancer, had a 4th grade education, never had a real job or anything like that but she raised 6 children and was the person who had a right to complain about the circumstances in her life but she chose to laugh, to draw people to her with her joy and smile and a positive outlook on life. She wasn’t afraid to be taboo, she was a very strong Christian woman and you weren’t going to hurt her feelings.
Matt: I have to say I also agree with your sports stance about anybody getting a trophy and how important was it for you to have your children partake in sports to learn valuable lessons that sports provide?
Josh: It’s been invaluable because they’ve learned things there that I probably couldn’t of ever easily taught ‘em. I say that because certain things happen to them in a sports context and I had to step in and guide them based on the sports. Earlier this year, in one of the sports events, my son Hampton fouled out and he made a beeline for me and I told him, ‘buddy, I hate that you fouled-out but you need to get on the bench and your teammates need you there and stand strong and cheer your teammates on.’ He forgot about the fact that he fouled out and he cheered on his friends.
Matt: How has parenthood changed your outlook on life and as a musician?
Josh: It definitely changed me as a musician because I look at songs in a completely different light. I remember how it affected me as a child but it’s been a long time since I’ve been a child and I know now because of my children, I can see what gets them going. I think about the lyrical side of things too and how they may not understand things right now but down the road they will. I hear songs to this day that I didn’t understand back then. I can now look at things from a completely different angle because I have three children, songs about marriage, songs about family, songs about children. It makes a big difference how I approach record making.
Matt: how rewarding has it been to be able to look at things through the eyes of the children…
Josh: I’ve learned a lot from them. A lot of it comical. I keep a running list of the things they say…
Matt: Like the book’s title…
Josh: Exactly. A great example of this is when we were all out at a restaurant in Salt Lake City last year, and Hampton, my 6 year old at the time said, I’ll be seven in November and Jennifer said, But your birthday is in October and he said, “But I’ll still be seven in November!” You look at the logic of it and you have to laugh and say, he’s right, even though it may not make sense on the surface.
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