Tim Wilson - "Darryl Stokes, That Dumb Son of a B****"

Writer: Tim Wilson

V. 1: Darryl Stokes, that dumb son of a b*** almost shot Santa Claus.
He was laying on the couch on Christmas Eve, over at sister-in-law?s.
When he heard something walking up on the roof, he laid down his Christmas beer.
And went and got the same .357 Magnum that Santa brought him last year.

V. 2: Darryl Stokes, that dumb son of a b*** started shooting in the fireplace.
He blowed all the buckles off Santa?s boots and left powder burns on his face.
He didn?t realize Santa had a heart condition, and it was a Christmas mess.
When the young?uns came downstairs and found Darryl, pumping on Santa?s chest.

V. 3: Darryl Stokes, that dumb son of a b*** gave Santa a heart attack.
But, with some CPR he?d learned in prison, he was able to bring him back.
There was a spilt-level house in Tennessee that was wrapped in a Christmas gloom.
They called 9-1-1 and the paramedics took Santa to the emergency room.

V. 4: And Darryl Stokes, that dumb son of a b*** felt bad about what he did.
The least he could do was to try to save Christmas and not disappoint the kids.
So he hooked the reindeer to his GTO and that is the reason, folks.
If your gifts don?t get her til late September, you can thank that dumb son of a b***,
Darryl Stokes.

2 gun shots at the end.

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